The Alchemy of Anger
“I want to preface this story by clarifying, that what I am sharing today, was amped up when I experienced what wholeness feels like, and again when my mom passed into the next realm. Since then, I have no longer been able to tolerate or ignore injustice, pain, or inauthenticity within myself. I am on a lifetime journey of embodying my feminine purpose and clearing and breaking ancestral pain. This story is a piece of the puzzle in my evolution.”
On a balmy early summer morning, a friend and I were enjoying the sunshine and a cup of coffee in my garden oasis. During the course of our conversation, we began chatting about the emotional ebb and flow that comes with doing something you love, in the container of serving others. In this moment on this particular day, from a place of vulnerability out of my heart popped the words, “I am only a homemaker”. What else do I know how to do?
My friend’s reaction was, “yeah, that really only is all you can offer.” The words stung like an artic blast. It knocked the breath out my heart. Because I know her, and she doesn’t normally speak that way. I reflected on how her words mirrored me, back to me.
My heart ached at the sting of the truth, and anger burned in my lungs. What made this pain, and this burst of anger different than before?
As I leaned into acknowledging the story, and into the pain. I didn’t hold anything back. In the following months excruciating physical and emotional pained emerged out of my body. At times I would nearly pass out from the intensity. This followed by body shaking tears, and a release of the aged pain and anger.
What you may not know. Is that I come from a lineage of women who said yes when they meant no. Said no to things they desperately, wanted to say yes too. Held by a backward mindset that their roles made their identity. Instead of their identity informing their roles.
My (their) soft heart unconsciously locked up in anger. Because I (they) denied my (their) full expression of inherent power, given to me (them) by the Creator. Denied by an unconscious self and the culture, I (they) was raised in.
Woman is an amazing creation of the Creator! They carry the life-force of birth within their womb, that goes beyond birthing a child; It is intertwined with their spiritual superpower of insight, imagination, and everything they touch they nourish, heal and love. Woman has a special gift of bringing the beauty of heaven into the everyday.
The lesson I learned, by allowing my anger. Is that a woman can only create to the level that she can acknowledge the truth. She can only receive the level of goodness, that her emotional body can hold.
The moral of my story is. Anger is a potent energy that propels change! Ignored it makes us ill, sharp tongued and resentful.
Please don’t fear your anger. Respect it. Honor it. Acknowledge your boundaries and stand up for them in a truthful way from a loving place.
Cheers!
Lorene
